Gone Away

disasterdiary @ 2003-03-17T22:35:00

2003-03-17T11:55:32Z

THE END

My old journal was trouble_sleepin and my new one is ificouldfly

aaawww

2003-03-15T13:13:19Z

home.

2003-03-14T04:40:09Z

i look even worse in real life...

dee dee daa daa

2003-03-13T04:28:02Z

So we just arrived in Tokyo after this fucking 11 hour flight and our enthusiasm to get to the much talked about worldwide FREE YAHOO INTERNET cafe proved to be a bit too much. We jumped off the plane and stumbled our pulled muscles across the terminal 1 to a bus to terminal 2 without bothering to note that no one else got on this bus. Then we walked upstairs and around a few circles before arriving in what should be known as the "ghost airport". You see, at Narita Ghost Airport there is NO ONE. Lots of huge signs and areas, and a big passport control, but no people. We walked through passport control to see confused japanese people. They talked amongst themselves then made us sit down while they talked about us. Then they eventually let us through and we walked in a few circles before arriving at customs. At customs again the place was big but with only two guys who looked very stressed to see us. They searched us and our bags, looking through diaries and making puzzled asian sounds and together examining everything. Like our walkmans, records, tapes and my diary. Then they found the alicia porn in my bag and examined that. We finally walked away from them, in a few more ghost cirles, then up lots of stairs to find.......

the internet. ill be online for 11 hours unless im having a five minute break at starbucks. Then Im going to be in Sydney.

Um Stuff

2003-03-10T13:06:53Z

This is the last time i will be on the internet before we leave Europe. And it brings a tear to my eye and a sob to my sentences, cos i am gonna go home soon. and i wont have to put up people who hate me cos they think im american, and people smoking everywhere you go, and damiens mood swings, and not knowing where to the right keys on my keyboard... but ill still be sad.
Because even though somethings and parts were really sucky and hard some times, this has totally been the best holiday and probably 2 months of my life and itll be sad to have it be over. I might even miss Damien some times....

but in better news, imma get tackled at the airport by bina and imma smile bigger than the plank of wood imma beat her with.

:D

Urgh.

2003-03-08T12:35:56Z

This morning they told us we had to move rooms. Now we have a honeymoon sweet in Palma.

In other news the ataris have come on the radio twice today that ive heard. I hope they get so big. The new album grew on me. Its amazing and the song My Reply is the best song ever.

the heroes go on the net in this one.

2003-03-07T14:01:42Z

[so yeah, you last heard from your heroes on the island of majorca, somewhere 4 miles out of palma at an internet cafe... lost, with their bags, one of them sick as a dog. They hadent eaten or withdrawn any euros, and no idea of where a hotel could be]

So we walked downstairs from the net, ready for a long walk back to the city. We saw four things: a pool table, a foozball table, an air hockey table and a bus. So after playing a few games we opted not to catch the bus and started walking. The first hour or two werent that bad. After that my panadol started wearing off and as we walked along the beach the sun started going down and it seemed we were past where we thought hotels would be. Instead of stopping we decided to keep walking was a good idea. Palma got further and further behind us [see were on one side and then we passed palma and went on the other side]. We eventually got to the point where we were prolly 4 miles on the other side of palma.....

At this point my sickness was so bad i almost passed out. We turned around and walked back to the city. The whole time singing insane songs and whining, yelling and going nutty. We got to PALMA and then walked around looking hard for a hotel. Finally outside a Burger King we gave up. I dropped to the ground. Damien said amazing words of encouragement.

"look mang, a hotel"

SO now we are staying in the mad big hotel with a rad room and a balcony to sit in the mad sun, and we found the net and food and i got fruitjuice.

oh and it has a bath.

I have more stories ill tell em later.

Lost.

2003-03-06T16:01:00Z

We arrived in Palma. We caught a bus. It kept going, we stayed on. We went past lots of hotels and didnt get out. We saw a pretty ocean and port in the middle of nowhere. The bus driver opened his doors and yelled something so we got out. We looked out at the water and the city in the distance. Then we walked towards the city. We saw a sign saying "palma" and another sign saying "internet", so guess which one we chose?

We are lost and its getting late.

the hero dies in this one

2003-03-05T18:57:39Z

In less than a week, me and a friend embark on an epic adventure of no sleep for 48 hours. But you can help! Think of suggestions to keep the team entertained for 11 hours at tokyo airport!

So far we have:
*Stay on the free net cafe for a few hours
*Have a coffee competition till we go insane
*Make another trolley choo choo like we did in madrid (only there will be two of us making it dull....
*Find a friend to play trolley choo choo with

I got no more ideas. Help.

So long London Astoria

2003-03-04T13:14:22Z

Two good things have happened this week.
The first was I got the new Ataris cd "So long astoria" which seems pretty good on the first couple of listens. Maybe a bit boring cos it seems like all the songs might be actually be the same song played over. But maybe its me thats dry not the music.
Then i went to London Astoria to see The Used last night and they were really really good. Like i put them up there with Converge and SLeater Kinney [the difference being they are two of my fav bands and i dont like the used that much]. They had tonnes of intensity and energy, cool shit to say, and "Say Days Ago" was one of the best songs ive seen performed by any band. They also didnt play too long so it rocked.
Living in London i would've seen bands like that every week. For example in the next month i would've seen Finch, Isis, Saves The Day, The Movielife and Hot Water Music.

Apart from that I just wanna go home now and get on with enduring this shit year.

If im alive and you still care, i promise i will take you there.

2003-03-02T22:03:51Z

So on Friday was our last show together. The last time we arrive in a dusty smokey squat wondering where the food is. The last time we sit around for hours talking amongst ourselves occasionally attempting conversation with locals [and usually failing and returning to eachother]. The last turde I have to do in a stinky arsed squat [i hope]. The last shithead other band member who complains about the order of the bands and causes stress. The last time I get butterflies in my stomach as my friends set up. The last time I get adrenaline rushes watching them and seeing euro strangers get into it. The last time I feel proud as they get off stage and everyone in the rooms standoffish attitude swings to welcoming niceness.....

I was kinda glad it was the last show, but i could have gone a few more. The others left on Saturday morning, i was half asleep saying goodbye, and then me, damien and clint sat in the kitchen for hours talking and telling stories. Then we moved to the loungeroom for a few hours. Then we moved to Pumpkins for a few hours. Then back to the loungeroom for one hour. Then back to pumpkins for a few hours. Sophie and Tegan and a few of Clints friends (heidi... *drools*) came out to dinner with us.

Its been real lazy actually, jsut sitting around listening to my new cds and records, reading books and zines, watching Cannibal Holocaust, go on the net, watching the football at the pub, looking through Pacos distro, enjoying hardcore for the first time in a couple of years....

i feel relaxed but also empty. I cant think of anywhere in the world i wanna be right now... maybe listening to samiam in the car with bina driving... but even thatd make me sad... blah im being emo.

the others are getting home about now. Fuck thats a brutal flight. I gotta do it soon.

Gonna see the Used tomorrow.

Stuff and Things.

2003-02-28T18:32:32Z

today i changed my plane ticket cos it still said i was leaving with everyone tomorrow. Me and Dave went and took photos of the monopoly board street signs. couldnt find a few or remember them. We then met Pazz and Damien and bought and stole stuff. Pazz rules, we had dinner last night with him. I made phone calls, plans, bought cds, spoke to bina for hours, then spoke to damien till 4 or something about people at school, woke dave up, went to bed, dreamt about wankers from school......

now.... it's raining. i feel sad. I dont know what i want but I know i wont get it and it's a pretty dry feeling cos its nothing new.

Last show tonight. I miss being stuck in the middle of the tour. It was very secure in there.

disasterdiary @ 2003-02-27T23:11:00

2003-02-27T12:30:28Z

Hi my name is Luke Logemann and I am so cool because I am in some foreign country and also my bum is itchy. Thank you and goodnight.

I need a word more extreme than dry.

2003-02-26T16:56:27Z

Im kinda sad. I just found out all the proper information about working visas. Oh it only took about 4 embassies to get it right. Im still gonna confirm with the Embassy of Great Britain in Canberra but I think im fucked. Like I think the rule is you either apply when you are in Australia, or you have to be out of Australia and wait 6 months. I cant afford that so im sour. I really want to live here, in London. I dont want to go fucking home and deal with all the shit there, i dont want to miss out on all the shit i had planned here, and i dont want a boring year in Sydney feeding off the same dramas i've been through a million times.

I WANT TO CREATE NEW PROBLEMS AND DRAMAS DAMMIT.

But I guess I can either try fake that Im in Oz or go back. If i go back Damien said he will too, but first we may go to Greece or Portugal. That'll be ok. But like I said, my first option would be to become a soccer nut pom drinking starbucks earning britpounds every day and going for weekend trips to paris and Rome. Very dry.

On another note, SImon's gone and we spent the last hour with me and karen interviewing people on their final thoughts. its very emo and sad. We also ranked everyone from most annoying to least annoying. my order was Simon (by faaaaar), Shortty, Damien, Max, Karen and Dave. I had good reasons haha. I also got most annoying for Max and Shortty both cos im moody and rude haha! oh well, they still want my babies....

Tonight people are gonna see against me. Im gonna watch soccer. Fuck Folk punk whatever that is.

Oh yeah.

I wanna stay here. I DONT WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOU THIS YEAR (unless you come here). NONE OF YOU. GO AWAY. Its sucks....

Yer mum

2003-02-24T18:22:40Z

The last few days have been really good. Last night we sat around in the skate park and smoked weed, and just hung out. We got cool ice creams for cheap and had lots of laughs. I got pretty paranoid tho, dont know why i bother with pot.
This morning me and damien woke up early and went to find out about madrid tickets at san sebastion. We walked around the water and the huge headlands and sat on a roof of an old building talking like nerd emo kids. Then we got back to the others and lied to them saying we have to catch a bus. haha. they still think we have this itchy trip and we may not get there. Really we have first class sleeper tickets to madrid overnight and we´ll have plenty of time to catch our flight back to London. Its all over. Im happy.

I wonder how it will work in London. I figure if it does (which for me, things always do) then it does. If not, i get to tackle the chubmaster sooner.... hehe.... either way its all something besides gravy cos gravy is gross baby....

Spainish chaos. Part 2.

2003-02-23T16:21:21Z

So Friday.
We got up and caught a train to Zaragoza. We got picked up by the hot girls that were putting one the show. Only one band playing and they set it all up just for HXH which was nice. We ate in a vegetarian restaurant with a maradona lookalike who was the coolest old guy ever.
The show was good, and Maradonna danced hard. After the show, me, dave, damien and Simon (always the party four even we dont wanna be) went to a punk pub where the guy we were staying with works. It was so funny, this older guy made a cd especially to give to HXH and he bought us drinks and gave Simon and Dave weed all night. And he entertained us, he also tried to encourage me to get with hot chicks there. The night was fun but then cops turned up and the whole place went what we always refer to as "itchy mexican style".
We got told the story quietly. Last week cops turned up and got beaten up. 6 were in hospital and one woman cop got pepper dust all through her throat. 3 punks were in jail. The cops were not happy AT ALL. Everyone left and we did too, only our friends were locked inside cos they owned it. ALso our bags. We went back to the show and saw people we knew. We ended up waiting in a house till we could get our bags.
Went back to the pub very late, got our shit, watched the punks all snort speed, then slept....

Saturday we came here. We are still here. Sorry about the lotsa entries. Just wanna document this shit.

Spainish chaos.

2003-02-23T16:02:13Z

It all begins where i left off on Wednesday. We started drinking, we went upstairs and me, dave, damien, karen and simon sat in the hostel bar drinking being the loudest rudest people in the place. We told confessions of who annoyed us most on tour, we teased eachothers race, i called the guy who was trying to feel simons muscles a homo, damien sat next the girls to prove he looked like them, we basically just itched up the entire place. It was fucking fun and crazy. We decided to go to the internet cafe to have fun. Along the way Simon told drug dealers that he wanted to hump their mums and all that. HE also set up a coccaine deal we had no intention of going through with and itched up a few people. I think he spent the last 2 nights before that doing similar things. Running around the sketchy streets being crazy drunk talking to stranger dangers and not sleeping at all. Anyway, by some form of not stopping to double check something on the net, he then went skitz and kicked a chair and started screaming, then proceeded to run outside. We all ended our conversations, i was in a bad mood al of sudden and rude to special people (sorry). Then we left. About ten minutes later, me, dave and damien found simon all with swollen knuckles, a beaten head and hobbling down the street swearing. He had gotten into a fight with someone and got beat up by 6 sketchy cunts. From here, the night went down hill and we realised how la Rambla is a fucking scary area.

We walked around the streets getting weird prostitues come up to us and feel our nuts and crazy nutcases yelling shit. We went back to the internet eventually and some guys got itchy cos we didnt buy the coccaine. Simon stormed out, we followed. We got followed by a gang of guys and ran up to the hostel. We went upstairs, checked simon was in bed and went and sat in the laundry thanking god he was asleep and not being itchy. Half an hour later we here coughing and yelling. He´s coming upstairs. He hadnt been in bed, it was all his clothes and we thought it was him! It turns out he never came back, he went looking for the guys that hit him and could beaten up again. They stole his walet and passport and hurt him more.

We sat in the hostel bar when it was closed just being quiet and shit and sad. Eventually we all went to bed and i think he went out again, i dunno why.

The morning we found his wallet but no money or passport and then we hung out and got ready for the show in La Roca. The show was tonnes of fun, Tyler and damien´s bro jason came along, and some fat american wanker who claims with two beers he´ll fuck anything with two cromozones. we all danced and had fun and it was cool. No one spoke english much but we went back to a nice house in the hills and slept. That was Thursday.

bang-bang, you're dead. hole in your head. dice: fucking internet infiltrating poverty stricken town

2003-02-23T15:31:51Z

I was just walking along in the spainish sun, staring out at the rubbishy hills and burnt out cars, and very few houses and even less people, wondering how on earth there were 50 kids at the show last night and how 10 of them afforded cds.... at that point i didnt expect to see an internet cafe. i wont question. im just here.

SO the others are asleep. Its nearly 5pm and they been there for 13 hours. we havent slept much for 5 days or so, and no showers, and dramas and crazyness. I slept upstairs in the weird dusty tower on some cushions of damiens couch, in all my clothes and no blanket, with the pillow i stole from the aeroplane, and i slept like a rock. Karen and SHortty left to go to Bilbao at 12 and i got up and walked down the ladder to the skatepark the punks made outside the venue. I sat down listening to music and marvelling at how its fucking 21 degrees (we get happy when its 12!), and i sunbaked and listened to music and ate cookies and drank coke and it was fucking mad cos toady i feel like i have things sorted. I CANT WAIT TO LIVE IN LONDON THIS YEAR. Im hoping it all works out, but everything seems to for me eventually.

Last night was the last euro show. we played in this small town called pasais in the basque country, North Spain. Not many people spoke English but they loved the band. Even if they played at 2am. HXH played with the most intensity they ever have and went totally nuts. They got made to play 5 encores and ended up playing half the set twice with weird parts improvised in the songs. we sold a record number of merch and now we have only 4 cds left out of 200 and 4 shirts out of 50. and the 7"s sold out about 10 shows ago!! SO in the end i reckon we´d all agree this was an amazing experience and so eventful, funny and crazy, not to mention overwhelmingly successful and fun.

We are gonna stay in this tower tonight and go to madrid tomorrow. Ill get the working visa, simon will get his passport and then we´ll go to london, play a last show, and then say goodbye for over a year. Its sad. the people who ive been so intensely involved with for 2 months, and the only people that have any idea what ive been doing or feeling or seeing or how much i like a crustie trying to be emo... and i wont see em now for a year! :( note: except stinky damien who im gonna live with.

Le sigh.... cant have everything.

I will sign again with some stories of the last few days. Soon. Ssshhhhh...!

Tomorrow it all starts again.

2003-02-19T19:58:02Z

i woke up this morning to simon coming back drunk and then an hour later to cleaners coming in and just cleaning around us sleeping. And simon yelling at them. I was sour. I went downstairs and had a shit hot chocolate and a stale crossaint and then went to meet Dave, Damien and Simon at the net cafe. I was gonna do stuff with them, or at least try get them to do stuff, but Simon soured me up even more and I just stormed off like a nerd and walked for miles..... Im so glad i did.

I walked all along the water to the surfing beaches and the palm trees and the zoo and this amazing goudi fountain. Then i walked more and more miles purposely trying to get lost. I eventually got photos done then met Max and we went and saw some more goudi architecture. The guy is fucking crazy genius. Like i wonder what drugs he was on to build a cathedral so detailed that you spend half an hour zooming on all the shit on the outside and not seeing half of it. Like meting parts, lizard heads, donkeys, fruit, cannons, just a whole bunch of strange shit. its huge too, and we went inside and up the top. its a maze up there and its so high you see the whole city.

That inspired us to find the big parc he designed in the mountains. we went in the rain and got very lost till we found it. its in an area of crazy hills and outdoor escalators and stuff. The park is trippy and crazy, and the rain made it more interesting too. I cant explain it, just go to Parc Guelle if you go to Barcelona. Its amazing. Max was fun to hang out with too. We got completely lost in Barcelona for miles of rainy tiredness and kept out selves amused by saying schwing at every cute girl, and guy schwing or old schwing for guys and older women. It was funny cos every is hot here. Um yeah, we´re back now. IM tired, ill sleep well tonight and then have more fucking shows starting tomorrow till we get to london.

Im thinking everyone amongst agrees this is the best city we´ve been to.

...

2003-02-19T02:14:16Z

but the alcohol wears off so yer back to square one and still dunno shit.

drunk.

2003-02-19T00:23:27Z

Im drunk. Makes things feel warm, makes eben unimportant thigns feel exciting. Like when Americans talk. They can say the most inane and boring shit and package it so well that it sounds exciting. they seem to think everything is awesome like do now. Um, me and damien just banged on taxis yelling TAXI tell we realised one was a police car and ran. we also went to an irish bar and easy internet. now hes yelling really loud and spelling like shit. example:

I cant wait to get an accent dice:
mmaang, type yto me on my nan u jubt asss, xcoia thgiua ia kujkwa´ç

that was meant to say: mang, type to me on my msn u cunt ass, cos this is lukes.

Yes, hes drunk. he just broke his finger.

Ive been sour the last few days, and i dunno why. its not home sickness, cos i know home holds (kinda) nothing for me. Its just memories and complications and realisations and all the other shit that keeps you from smiling even when yer in the raddest city on earth for the first time.

i dunno, im down for a few reasons and the only person that ive bothered mentioning it too is next to me yelling backwards sentences and being yelled at by security. Im kinda sure he doesnt care anyway, who wouldnt be over the luke lifestyle?

I type well when im drunk but it takes me 40 minutes to write a post.

Happy to be leaving...

2003-02-17T10:13:19Z

Last night me and damien were playing with ourselves in bed and he asked if i was hard. With a bit of concentration and penis manipulation i was. So i told him. He got up on the top bunk and wanked me while shortty filmed. FOR REAL. Then i scared him by pretending to cum and he ducked. But it's all on film. email thegrrl@yahoo.com for a copy. i think they are 49.95 each. Paid in euros.

On another note, a'dam can fuck off, im going to Barcelona. And im gonna get my working Visa, so bye.

feeling shit in a'dam

2003-02-14T20:56:39Z

I feel really down tonight. I have been since i went to the embassy and then came on the net.

I cant find anything to distract myself and I cant find the energy to do something worth doing, so im just passing time. The others are all too stoned or distracted for me to bother trying to communicate, and i dunno what in fuck i'd bother saying anyway. I dont have the mindest to try and think about what I want or what I want to do, or how i feel about people or situations. Im fucking exhausted and i know im alone, but i gotta get used to that. [And get used to missing you as well]

I am a Stereotype.

2003-02-14T12:51:42Z

Ok so my stay in Amsterdam I just realised has been very cliched. By day I venture not too far from the hotel and relax, go online a bit, go look at stuff, hang out. By night I do all the things you do here. The first night was herbal ectasy, the second night was a joint, the third was the mushrooms and last night? I WENT TO MY FIRST EVER STRIPCLUB. Ok, so you are probably all thinking "Damien and Luke, it was their idea, those bastards." But NO. This venture was the idea of Karen and Shortty, and their enthusiasm and encouragement was overwhelming. So after sitting in the loungeroom drinking and playing some sort of confession game [this being everyone but the two stoners who went to bed at 7.20 and then woke up at 8.45am and smoked more], we went out to the red light district. Probably the most insane place on earth, i reeeeally dont get it. Like its like Los Vegas its so lighted and crowded with sketchy people and sex shops and shows and porn and people walking past whispering "ectasy" and "coccaine". Me and Damien walked ahead and looked in all the red light windows were girls try get you in. Damien got pulled into one both and the girl stole his beanie to tease him. It was a veeery interesting experience ont he whole, made more fun by walking past drug dealers and whispering "ectasy" and then laughing. Eventually we all got into a sex show / stripclub thing. Girls did weird dances and came down to us always. One lady was rubing her arse on my lap and another grabbed my nuts. IT WAS SCARY. The big fat black lady also rubbed her boobs on Damien! The sex show was weird too, the guy had a banana dick. On the whole it was funny and weird, but not in anyway a turn on for me. But I'm glad I went cos it was an experience.

I got to bed at 3am and woke up at 8 to go to the embassy. I run on so little sleep nowadays, it's good. I have to wait to get my visa, im scared i wont get it. Im also scared i WILL get it. Either way I feel like I lose, it's weird.

"This city isnt scary, it just looks like a silly little AFI drawing"

2003-02-13T10:50:23Z

Day 4 of Amsterdam and I feel quite fresh and relaxed, which is a good thing after the stress if the tour. We are staying in a nice little hotel run by Australians and Poms with not many rooms, free breakfast and ONLY ONE KEY PER ROOM. But its ok. Upstairs is the stoner room - Dave, Simon and the unlikely stoner: Max. Yes thats right, Max walks around making food and mess all day listening to music and making me laugh hysterically. "Im really toned, i means stoned". Our room is predominantly edge. Shortty begs us to go to see the red light district with us and keeps me and damien up with questions of our involvements with people and other such goss. Damien has mood swings and makes rude comments to everyone [that will stop now the soccers done], he also goes on the net a lot. Karen holds the fort together, and unzips and zips bags a lot. Ramo also enters the picture every now and again but seems to get bored and slink off.

Me? Well i go on the net a little but not for long, i walk around in the cold, do chores, and think about London and all that stuff. Last night i ate some magic mushrooms and it was bizarre as all hell. everything formed awesome patterns and went a little strange, i went on a thousand adventures from place to place looking at the bizarre city and ignoring the others cept for weird 2 min talks which make me think they're weird people. haha. Then we all watched the simpsons on tv and it kept rewinding and stuff! like in real life! and i was getting freaked. haha i kept thinking outside looked afi like and i was wonderinghow anyone could scared by this funny fantasy shit. Like everything was so silly and funny, i spent the whole time pissing myself laughing. the only weird part was my epiphonies on the red light district and how crappy it is. i also went to a room full of people i decided were "weird" also to watch the soccer. i got so weirded out by them that i walked out shaking my head. i did so much stuff and the best part was when it went away and i was completely back to normal! i just talked to the others about it and it was sweet. went to bed and i feel fresh haha....

Apart from that I gotta go see about working visa tomorrow in another city. if this pans out who knows what will happen...